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Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Title: Regrets
Author: SeaweedOtter
Characters: Roy Mustang x Maes Hughes
Rating: PG-13 for some light sexual content
Disclaimer: Set around Episode 25. The last time Roy talked to Hughes, got angry and slammed the phone. There was no way he could tell him goodbye.
Copyrights: I dont own the characters, of course.


Read all five parts of the story arc HERE!






'...Find yourself a wife!' he had said, and without another word Roy slammed down the phone. 'What an idiot.' he remembered thinking right after throwing the phone back on the hook.

He softly sighed and swirled the drink around in its glass before taking a long drag. It burnt less going down than the 3 or 4 glasses that he had drank before this one. He softly shivered, and put the drink down at the bar, and motioned for the bartender to fill it up again.

There was a nagging voice in the back of his head telling him that this wasnt the best thing to do, seeing as the funeral was tomorrow, and he knew that he had to get up early to get ready. But the pain was too much, and when the drink was refilled he went to it with the same swiftness that he had with the ones before.

The last thing he had ever done to his friend, his lover, was throw down the phone at him, annoyed at yet another one of the times that he was doting on his wife and child. Roy knew that part of the reason Maes did it was to make sure people didnt find out about thier forbidden love. But he also knew that Maes loved to egg him on, to remind him that he had a wife and child, while the bachelor colonel had alot of girlfriends and one secret lover, but not one person who he could spend the rest of his life with. He made sure that Roy never forgot that.

He took a long draught on the drink, that strangely didnt really burn any more. He had lost count of how many drinks he had that night, but no matter what, the ache in his heart was still just as painful as it was before. It made his breath short, felt like someone was sitting on his chest and trying to squeeze the life out of him.

Never again would he feel the warmth of Maes' kiss against his lips, or the strength of his arms when he held the colonel tight. He would never again get to tell Maes that he loved him, or that he missed him on the many nights that he would sleep next to that lucky bastard of a wife of his. He didnt hate Gracia, but there were time when he saw her and could think of nothing but how jealous he was of her and her husband.

He had never thought that there would be a time he would have to live without Maes Hughes. He always thought he would be the one to die first, probably not long after attaining the rank of Furher, if he ever got there at all. How could the big goofball of an office worker die before him? It just made no sense at all. He had never thought that he would have to worry about the last thing he ever said to his friend, his subordinant, his lover. And now he had the rest of his life, however long that was going to be, to think about that the last sound his lover ever heard from him. The sound of the telephone being slammed back down.

There was not enough drink in the world to ever make him forget that. And he didnt want to ever forget that. It was his sin, his burden to bear, for the rest of life, the life that he seemed to be destined to spend alone.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
bramblerose4
Jan. 11th, 2007 08:04 pm (UTC)
I love the way you write! Though I am in denial about Hughes death it's just too much to bear!!! LOL!
rhapsodyangel
Jan. 11th, 2007 10:11 pm (UTC)
This really captures the sense of loss and guilt one feels after a sudden death. Well done.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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